December 2001 Archives

Google Press Center: Zeitgeist

In case you haven't seen this yet, this is what I call a worthwhile Year-in-Review: no ponderous punditry, just the stats made graphic. USA Today, eat your heart out.

-- Andrea

Have you collected all 90 of the Enduring Freedom Trading Cards? Then how about the Psychedelic Republicans set, or some 50's Horror Cards, or original Artist Trading Cards, or the Postmodern Theory trading cards (complete with game instructions)?

This brings up a rather painful memory -- when I was 8 my mother made me give away my entire Star Wars card collection to a child who was "less fortunate" than me. An early lesson in the pains we must endure to bring about social justice. I think I'll get over it. Someday.

Speaking of Star Wars (which makes it twice this week), can you believe that this is a gargoyle at the National Cathedral? How cool is that?

Thanks to MeFi for the Darth Vader story.

This map of Springfield has to be seen to be believed, if just for the restaurant names alone: Bob's Big Poi, The Municipal House of Pancakes, The Texas Cheesecake Depository, and of course Professor V. J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery.

Found on Boing Boing

Thanks to randomWalks for the neat checkbox on the left; check it and all the links you click will open new windows, if you like that sort of thing.

Oy McVey: From the Irv Rubin Bust to the Stern Gang: The Rich History of Jewish Terrorism

This article by Jason Vest in this week's Voice starts off with the American Jewish Committee and the Anti-Defamation League condemning in strong terms the JDL's latest threats against Arab- and Muslim-Americans. Then the article takes a logic-defying turn:

Yet some observers of the current Middle East crisis see more than a bit of disingenuousness and historical irony here. While both the ADL and the AJC have condemned the JDL, they've unequivocally backed Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon's indiscriminate use of force against the Palestinians and the cutting of ties with Palestinian Authority president Yasir Arafat — neither of which is universally seen as a particularly constructive way to slow the cycles of violence across Israel and the Occupied Territories.

In Vest's view, unless they were to also condemn Israel, the AJC and the ADL don't have the bona fides to condemn the JDL -- or any other terrorists, it would seem. Note Vest's curious locution at the end there -- "neither of which is universally seen as a particularly constructive way to slow the cycles of violence." In other words, since some think that Israel's latest actions are not "particularly constructive," therefore all must condemn Israel. I won't get into whether breaking ties with Arafat was a good idea -- although it appears to be having some effect on Hamas. But I hardly see how the ADL and AJC's support of Israel makes their condemnation of the JDL "disingenuous." Did Vest actually read what the ADL has to say on the subject?

Vest then goes on:

But what's even more vexing to others is the apparent inability or unwillingness to discern similarities between the current Palestinian milieu and Israeli operations of 50-plus years ago, which secured statehood from colonialist occupiers.

He then provides a brief history of the Irgun and the Stern Gang and their violence against the British. It's clear that Vest is trying to draw the parallel between the Irgun and the Intifada; what's unclear is what he means by it. Of course Israel doesn't consider the Irgun to be terrorists; today's terrorist is history's revolutionary, but only if they win. By Vest's logic, the U.S. would be "disingenuous" to criticize Al Qaeda, when after all our founding fathers were revolutionaries who committed their own acts of violence. It would also mean that the ADL and the AJC would either have to condemn the Irgun, the JDL, and the Intifadah -- or embrace them all. I'm not sure which choice Vest would have them make.

This, and many other great road signs, outsider art, and of course sock monkeys, at Interesting Ideas. Don't miss The Gyros Project.

The Britney Conspiracy

Ever since Britney was signed on to her record company someone very powerful with a extreme lust for young girls and a extreme lust for money decided that he wanted to use and abuse Britney as well as her reputation to get what ever he wanted from her. When she didn't comply they put a fake to do whatever she refused to do and parts of the media purposely set her up to look bad so that she'd have no point in fighting it. Although she was much tougher and much more clever than they ever imagined. On the November 1999 BBC (radio 1) interview Britney said that some guy went to her house when Britney wasn't there and he asked for Britney and cut wires were found. I think that was just something that was done to get her to think back to then so that she'd get scared thinking about how long she may have been in danger. They tried scaring her by threatening to come and get her and force sex on her if she didn't comply. They made it very clear that no one could help her. I'm sure that she knows very well who they are. The fake was purposely put in to place too seem like Britney with breast implants. They messed with concert equipment to make her look bad and then they used the fact that people were thinking that she was using a fake voice against her and eventually they replaced her with someone that didn't sound exactly like her and people who knew her voice well enough thought things like "oh she's using her real voice now" or "oh that's another fake voice of her's". They messed with a over head camera so that it fell on her head while the filming the oops video and blood was pouring out and they made sure that in a video that followed the oops video she almost froze to death. Most if not all of 2001 and late 2000 the fake Britney took the real Britney's place. Christina is a victim of this too. They are trying to make Christina look like a heartless freak. They have her imitated too.

Dead Cartoonist Joins Friendly Little Dead Boy

So I'm buying presents online and I call the vendor to ask a question and they tell me they'll be right back and put me on hold.

The hold music: OMD's "If You Leave."

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists reports:

A typical nuclear power plant contains within its core about 1,000 times the long-lived radioactivity released by the Hiroshima bomb. The spent fuel pools at nuclear power plants typically contain some multiple of that—several Chernobyls’ worth. . . .

We reported in 1986—and it is still the case today—that NRC regulations require nuclear reactor operators to protect against no more than a single insider and/or three external attackers, acting as a single team, wielding no more than hand-held automatic weapons.

Security personnel at power reactors are not required to be prepared for:

• more than three intruders;

• more than one team of attackers using coordinated tactics;

• more than one insider;

• weapons greater than hand-held automatic weapons;

• attack by boat or plane; or

• any attack by “enemies of the United States,” whether governments or individuals.

Have a nice day.

How many people really believe that Osama bin Laden is hiding out on the West Coast, hanging out at rest stops or running liquor stores? Further proof that bigotry and intelligence are inversely correlated. Thanks to Ennis for the article.

Oregon woman jailed for hate crime against Sikhs
BY BRUCE OLSON

EUGENE, Ore. (Reuters) - An Oregon woman who yelled racial slurs and harassed two Sikhs at a roadside rest stop five days after the Sept. 11 attacks has been sentenced to 30 days in jail.

Jagit Gill, 41, and his father-in-law, Santokh Sing, 60, both of Kent, Washington, had stopped for some tea on Sept. 16 when the woman, Shari Mitchell, 54, of Milwaukie, Oregon, approached them.

"I said hello to her and she started yelling at us, calling us terrorists. It was very scary,'' Gill told Reuters on Saturday.

Gill said the woman tried to pull the turban from Sing's head, knocked over their tea and pushed Gill. Other motorists at the Interstate-5 rest stop near Eugene, Oregon, confronted Mitchell and she drove away.

Gill, however, used his cell phone to contact police and the woman was arrested and charged with second-degree intimidation and harassment.

"I was very glad to hear she has been sentenced to jail. The way she was talking, it is better for her to stay away from the public,'' Gill said.

A jury convicted Mitchell on Dec. 7 of both counts.

Lane County Circuit Judge Ted Carp imposed the 30-day jail term on Friday and added five years probation. He also ordered the woman to undergo mental health evaluation and treatment, and to stay away from firearms.

Mitchell argued that she was mentally ill and that she thought she had found Saudi-born extremist Osama bin Laden, blamed by the United States in the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington, at the rest stop. Her lawyer said she had been inflamed by media reports of the Sept. 11 attacks.

But prosecutor Paul Graebner said she was a bigot and called the defense a "con job.'' Carp said the sentence was intended to discourage Mitchell and others from acting on their bigotry.

Gill, who has been in the United States for 16 years, is originally from northern India and runs a convenience store in Kent, a town near Seattle.

"We have hundreds of customers a day and no one treats us like this woman did,'' he said.

More Disturbing Search Requests:

Surfers have hit this site recently searching for: Italian male strippers, black twin sister porn, and, most disturbingly, the one from Germany searching for audio galaxy sex. I mean, who fantasizes about sex with a peer-to-peer MP3 distribution system? Certainly not me! (Or is that "not I"? I can never remember....)

Patrick writes:

Mike, This is from Saturday's New York Times. It is from a front page story. I highlighted the best part:

Although Afghan fighters tried to claim the near-victory for themselves, there were a number of battlefield details that indicated it was a small group of highly trained, professional Western special operations troops — and not the local Afghan fighters — who were actually doing the fighting.

First, there was no apparent physical contact between the rear position and the forward line, as would have been evident if the Afghan force were heavily involved in the fighting: no replacements were moving up, no ammunition bearers resupplying gunners, no wounded coming back. This suggested the forward fighting was being carried out by an unusually self-contained unit.

More tellingly, the sporadic small arms fire heard between the larger bursts of American bombs and Afghan tank fire was distinctive. Afghan fighters tend to be enthusiastic, holding their assault rifles up and firing off a full banana-shaped clip at a time in a high-pitched barrage.

The automatic weapons fire heard was clipped — short bursts, usually of three shots, fired with a quick squeeze of the trigger — often clearly coming from different locations, indicating a highly trained, disciplined and well-organized force.

The Afghan fighters around the command post, draped in rocket-propelled grenade launchers and AK-47 assault rifles, appeared to be mostly lounging about. They laughed hysterically as many of the journalists flinched at the unexpected explosions of outgoing tank fire, as if this were the funniest thing they had ever seen. But the Afghans also scattered when two bursts of sniper fire whizzed overhead.

While the Afghans have insistently denied the presence of American combat forces and the American troops have tried to hide from sight, their clandestine presence was betrayed by a tell-tail trail of piles of plastic Poland Spring mineral water bottles in the mountains.

[NB: Also, the blaster marks were too accurate for Sandpeople. Clearly, the work of Imperial forces. And the Sandpeople always ride single file, to hide their numbers.]

From the Washington Post:

Although many laboratories possess the Ames strain of anthrax involved in this fall's bioterrorist attacks, only five laboratories so far have been found to have spores with perfect genetic matches to those in the Senate letters, the scientists said. And all those labs can trace back their samples to a single U.S. military source: the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Disease (USAMRIID) at Fort Detrick, Md.

Thanks to Ennis for the article.

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this item, but for those of you who looked at it . . .

Yet another reason to live Back East

. . . you'll notice that there are MAGNITUDE markers on the map showing that all of the earthquakes were magnitude 2 or below, which means that a bus going by on your street causes a great deal more shaking and rolling. I just don't want everyone thinking were are complete and utter idiots; idiots we may be, but we're not that far gone yet. To be honest, now that we are living three blocks from the ocean, I am much more concerned about tidal waves. If anyone is a tsunami expert, I'd appreciate a good website or two where I can learn more.

Feliz Navidad --

Matt

[Matt: for all your tsunami news, try the Geophysics Department at the University of Washington or the National Oceanographic & Atmospheric Administration. You'll be happy to know that DART (Deep-ocean Assessment and Reporting of Tsunamis) is on the lookout, 24/7. Actually, it looks like Paul and the rest of the greater Sea-Tac Area residents are more at risk than you. So rest easy. Until California falls into the ocean, at least.]

Calling my bank yesterday, the voice prompt started: "For questions about military deployment, press 1."

Complete transcript of bin Laden videotape.

The bastard. That poem he recites at the end is pretty chilling... anyone know who he's quoting?

Starving, Bandaged Bin Laden Offers U.S. One Last Chance To Surrender

"The noose is tightening," said Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar, gnawing on a dead horse's hoof. "With every Taliban soldier you capture or kill, your selection of enemies grows more limited. Our remaining soldiers, on the other hand, enjoy a virtually limitless array of Allied soldiers to shoot. Before long, it will be virtually impossible for you to find someone to engage on the field of battle. Then, victory will be ours."

Omar then closed his eyes and began to rock slowly back and forth.

Here's the Onion's 2001 Top Album List. Where's yours?

How To Create Your Own Pink Hello Kitty Laptop

See, this is why Martha Stewart doesn't connect with Gen-Xers.

Microsoft To Plug Devastating Browser Download Hole

Another IE security risk -- the article recommends that you "temporarily disable IE's ability to download files. To do so, users should select Internet Options from the Tools menu. Then select the Security tab and click on Custom Level. Scroll down to the listing for Downloads and disable file downloads."

An Australian police offer sold his badge to a drug dealer, so the dealer could pose as a narc and confiscate his rival's inventory. And, in Flint, Michigan, a gas station employee was fired for refusing to sell crack pipes. The manager claimed "ceci n'est pas une pipe."

Both stories thanks to BoingBoing.

Shouldn't a site about "Human Design Interaction" have a better interaction than this?

Most journalists confessing past drug use say they tried marijuana a few times and deeply regret it. But Reason magazine editor Nick Gillespie writes that in college, he tore through "pot and alcohol, mostly, but also acid, mescaline, Ecstasy, mushrooms, coke and meth. . . . Mostly I did drugs because they were fun and I liked the way I felt when I was high." He's cut way back because of adulthood.

Thanks, Sandra. Always knew those libertarians were smoking crack.

Sandra sent in this article on Crimson Grade Inflation from the Washington Post, excerpted below. Note that the article only refers to undergraduate grade inflation. I can attest that there's no grade inflation at Harvard Business School, as only 10% of each class gets the top grade. Of course, those grades are more or less meaningless, but hey, who's counting?

Harvard's High-Grade Curriculum
By Jonathan Yardley
Monday, December 10, 2001; Page C02

What the Germans call schadenfreude -- taking pleasure in the pain of others -- is never more delicious than when those in pain are prominent, powerful, prosperous and conceited. So it is understandable that a wave of pure delight is now coursing through the rest of higher education as Harvard -- probably this country's greatest university, and certainly its most arrogant -- licks a self-inflicted wound known as grade inflation. The wound in time will heal, but it has exposed weakness and hypocrisy that make Harvard something of a joke. . . .

"While the world regards these students as the best of the best of America's 13 million undergraduates, Harvard honors has actually become the laughingstock of the Ivy League. The other Ivies see Harvard as the Lake Wobegon of higher education, where all the students, being above average, can take honors for granted. It takes just a B-minus average in the major subject to earn cum laude -- no sweat at a school where 51 percent of the grades last year were A's and A-minuses."

It's hard to say which of these figures is more astonishing: the 51 percent A's, the 91 percent graduating with honors, or the B-minus for honors. Taken individually or collectively, these figures -- none of which Harvard has disproved -- depict an undergraduate college in which there no longer is any meaningful distinction among the excellent, the satisfactory and the mediocre. Arthur Levine of Columbia University, as quoted by Healy, got to the heart of it: "Rather than singling out who performs best, they're signalling the 9 percent who perform the worst. Harvard has done away with true honors." . . . .

Maybe so, maybe not. Reports from Harvard -- in the Globe, the Harvard Crimson, the New York Times and other places -- cite numerous students who admit that once you've gotten through the chamber of horrors of Harvard admissions, the pressure can go way, way down. One said, "I know I can do minimal work in some classes and get good grades," and another: "I really believe Harvard students don't always challenge themselves."

Matt A. writes:

Dear Friends,

I thought you might like to see this San Francisco Examiner editorial, which is about small schools and the recent work Small Schools for Equity has been engaged in.

In addition, the California Teachers Association magazine California Educator ran several articles on small schools in its November issue. One piece called "Here, students don't fall between the cracks," features San Francisco Community School, a small K-8 school we are working with, as well as Mary Lavalais, one of our amazing community activist parents.

Another article called "Less can be more," talks about Small Schools for Equity's work and how we want to be part of a systemic, within-the-district reform effort that helps improve learning for all of the students in San Francisco's low-performing high schools. (The entire California Educator feature on small schools can be found here.)

Best regards,

Matt

From the good folks at Chank!

This is, quite simply, the best reason to love consultants I could possibly come up with. Also, as my sister-in-law so rightly put it, this is the reason they invented the phrase "busting a gut."

Happy holidays,

Nancy

DoubleTree_Show1.ppt

Mike writes:

Somehow, this reply from M_____'s college friend's third cousin's step sister-in-law's second grade teacher's wife, to the Presidential Assistant That Replies to Letters, about the 2nd Amendment and 9/11, found its way into my inbox. Thought I'd share it.

Senor Sanchez:

Seems like you've been spending too much time ropin' cattle out there on Dubya's ranch. You've plumb forgot what bullshit smells like, cause you're too used to wadin' in it.

Let's talk plain. Ask yourself this: I've got one of them suspected terrorists in jail. I can read his mail, listen in when he's talkin' to his three-piece-suited lawyer, investigate everything he's done, where's he's gone, and what he's spent since he entered into this freedom-lovin' country with murder in his heart.

Except for one thing: that little trip he made to the shop to buy hisself a gun. No sir, that's off limits.

Now he might have gone and bought an assault weapon, and armor-piercing ammo a-plenty. Now, we both know that's his right, so long as he's passed the background checks to make sure he's no criminal (yet, anyway.) But even though his name's right there on the gubmint's list, in black and white, well we can't very well look up his name on that list.

Hell, does that make any sense to you? Do you think this what they had in mind when they wrote #2, way back when? If I was trying to investigate these folks, and they told me I couldn't even find out if they had bought a gun, why I'd be madder than a wet hen at Colonel Sander's.

This is where I smell bullshit. Because I don't believe for a New York minute that we're upholding the Second Amendment rights of these terrorists out of concern for their rights, or so those pesky protesters won't claim that we've suspended the Big C. Those protestors -- that riled-up tenth -- are mostly liberals anyway who'd be just as happy if the Second Amendment went away for good. (Just read the New York Times articles for proof.) The reason we won't do gun checks on these "folks," (as your boss likes to call 'em) is plain and simple: it's against conservative principles. (Just like federalizing airport security was against conservative principles, even though it made sense to 100 senators, and 98% of Americans who thought about it. Maybe the other 2% were terrorist sympathizers.) The GOP and the NRA are against the gun checks. That doesn't mean that the people are against gun checks. Or that doing these gun checks is a bad idea, from the point of view of fighting terrorism. Like you said, we can't back down now. No room for idealism, no matter who's ideals we're talkin' bout, the right's or the left's.

See, you're right about one thing: the rules have got to change. Question is, which rules? This is where Ashcroft and I part company. If he said, "well, these rules that protect terrorists, they've got to go," I'd respect that even if I disagreed with his plan. But for him to ban the gun checks, that's rank hypocrisy. Is that a rule that protects terrorists? Why, you'd better believe it. So why do we keep it? I'm waiting for a practical answer. Still haven't heard one. As my Pappy used to say, "You can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit." Maybe that's why your boy Ashcroft says that anyone who questions him must be a terrorist himself -- it's easier to tell us to shut up than answer the questions.

My Pappy also used to say "When you step in a field full of bullshit, you'd better watch out for the bull." It's not the hypocrisy of this-amendment-over-that that gets my gander, it's the way the executive branch has taken it on itself to make the decisions for us. The real question is, not which rules, but who decides and how? Is it just your boss? Not the last time I checked the rule book (the one that's kept us from tippin' the canoe for the last 200-plus years.) Nothing in there about suspending the courts, or the legislature, during a war. (In fact, I seem to remember that only the Senate's got the power to declare a war.) Even during a war, we've got the right to stand up and say what we believe. Even during a war, we've got rights as well as responsibilities. Even during a war, the folks in Congress have a say in how we run things. Even during a war, we're a democracy. Just in case you forgot.

-- Mrs. Lila Mae Boone, Laticuff, TX

PS. Oh, and you're also right that there's only so much taxpayer money to go around. Thank your boss's tax cut for that. And tell that to your boy Ashcroft as he spends his money making sure folks in Oregon don't kill themselves, instead of hunting down killers.

Finally had my first Disturbing Search Request: someone hit the site by searching for ghetto Puerto Rican girls. Not sure what they were looking for, but I'm guessing that this review of Change of Habit (starring Elvis Presley and Mary Tyler Moore) was not it.

M_____ writes:

This was sent to my college friend's third cousin's step sister-in-law's second grade teacher's wife, who wrote the White House asking about the 2nd Amendment aspect to Bush's anti-terrorism response. I won't even get into how it found its way to me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

FROM: Presidential Assistant That Replies to Letters
TO: Dear Letter Writers to the President
RE: Everyone’s Interest in #2

Kind of y’all to write in them smart-as-a-whipsaw questions ‘bout the 2nd Amendment. So many people think there ain’t no point writing to the federal government. And by and large it’s as fruitless as a kumquat tree in the Kenai. Especially if you work for the government. You know, once you hit that G5, you’re Supreme Court, sans the robe and thinking part. We take real seriously our adopted motto: “If it ain’t broke, fix it until it is.”

Now you’ve got us for airport security.

Seems lately the New York Times and other concerned parties dug in on the far side of the corral have been blowing their claxons blue, telling us Bush and Ashcroft is fulla prairie cakes. So far, they have got all a-twitter about a whole 10% of the populace.

But then the New York Times supported that fella with the big teeth for mayor. And that tennis-playing fella in ’93. Not to leave out Gore, Dukakis, Mondale and Carter. Why, the New York Times is wind-pissers that’d make my great-granddaddy proud for saying the Mexicans couldn’t never take the Alamo!

But folks say poll numbers don’t matter none. True ‘nuf. There’s always some who feel it’s important they yell for the bus to stop ‘fore it rolls clear off the washboard, as they see it. It’s tradition. Why, many said the U.S. dang better not go rescue Europe in ’44. Some said Nixon should not ever resign. Same thought the U.S. should not a left Vietnam, the Rosenbergs was plum innocent, a tomato’s a fruit and Paul was really dead.

Seems whatever’s facing us, there’s some who say, “Uh-uh!” They got that prerogative. I myself have been there. But now I recall from my insomnia-fixin’ history class at Laredo Community College (go Toros!) that whatever’s happened in America over the centuries – wars, suspended liberties, rationing, scandals, red scares, crashes, riots, Hillary Clinton and the like – the canoe ain’t never tipped one way or another.

Never.

Show me a time when this country’s gone sideways like some of them European ones have, and I’ll show you a U.T. fan don’t wear orange on October Saturdays.

Some nights lately, I pour up a lil’ belt of the boss’s Makers and I ask myself, “Self, what in America’s past gives us reason to think military tribunals for foreign-born suspected terrorists is disastrous for this great nation?”

With or without Makers, I can’t think a nothing.

But there is some things I do think about. I think of the flaming deaths of 4,000 people. I think of the bigger-‘n-we-know conspiracy that led to it. I think how that conspiracy took place on American soil, under the protection of the American constitution, and made possible by the open society we treasure. I think of how the terrorists counted on our openness to plan and commit their vile act. How they didn’t just use our planes against us, they used our Constitution as well.

I think of how they raised some of their budget money right under our noses. How they took flight lessons right here so they could steer our jetliners into buildings. How they cut the throats of pilots, flight attendants and passengers. How terrified the passengers were when they realized their fate. How heroic – and patriotic - those passengers were who fought the terrorists over Pennsylvania, knowing they was all gonna perish. I think of how the terrorists must a had smiles on their faces and shouted psalms to their crap-ass religion as they slammed into the offices of unsuspecting people and burned them alive. I think of the sudden, unspeakable horror in the Twin Towers. The smoke, heat and death before people’s eyes. I think of tearful, desperate phone calls to loved ones. I think of people who chose to jump 107 floors instead of the fate closing in on them. I think of babies born without knowing their fathers. Husbands and wives without each other forever. Parents, brothers and sisters who watched fires rage and buildings crumble knowing their kin was inside. Children who lost both parents. Parents who lost two children. Single mothers and fathers in homes they can’t pay for. I think of how knee-jerk negativism to the war in Afghanistan and to the swiftest justice possible discredits victims, heroes and survivors.

I think about the atrocious effect the attack has had on the economy of a city, a country. I think of all the people out of work in time for the Holidays. I think of the Americans who have been killed and will be killed in Afghanistan while hunting the perpetrators of 9/11.

I think of how the attackers will do it all over again if we back down in the slightest.

‘Bout the only thing I don’t think about is... the fuckin’ rights of terrorists, pardon my Canadian.

What seems to evade some folks, like a prairie dog ducking an F-250 pushing 70 with the horn blastin’ and Garth on the quads, is that 9/11 was an act of war. Yes, war has been declared on the United States.

That is W-A-R, as in we are in a STATE OF WAR.

That there’s no opposing nation don’t matter. That there’s no opposing army as we know ‘em don’t matter.

There will be yet more attacks, bigger and more violent – as the enemy has swore – unless some things are different.

We here in the Administration duly respect those who are worried for the rights of foreign-born terrorist suspects. But perhaps they have not yet read the captured al Qaeda training manual, pages 94-95, that advises terrorist “brothers” to “take advantage” of our judicial system to do things such as “helping” un-arrested brothers “in their work outside prison.”

Now, what kind work do we suppose it is some I’m sure well-meaning people would like to enable them to continue?

Sure, being naïve has a charm to it, but not in the areas of war and mass-murder. The well-intended but naïve among us must realize if you want to stop a relentless foe, you must be even more relentless than them. That’s the history of the world. There is no margin for being naïve. No margin for idealism. No margin for personal values. No margin for sniping at those who have accepted the mandate to annihilate our enemies – and are so doing. And, I’m so very sorry to suggest, there’s no margin for idealism.

There is only strategy, tactics and the will to crush and crush hard by any means that works. Anything less and they will keep on, keeping on, comin’ back, and killin’ more.

We salute the bespectacled Senator from Vermont – that’s a state somewhere, right? - as he strives to protect those who attack us, rather than protecting us from those who attack. Unlike many others, we would never call him a wimp for his stand, but we do call him painfully naïve. Or is it he’ll do anything for his share of face time? We applaud Mr. Safire for taking on his friends at the White House and for pretending there’s a growing drumbeat of opposition to tribunals in Bush circles; fantasy and inaccuracy have a storied tradition at the New York Times and we do appreciate an imaginative news media.

Yet, to the few who see it Leahy’s and the New York Times’ and al Qaeda’s way, I tip my Stetson, smile and apologize: If we want to avoid another 9/11, the civil liberties of terrorists cannot and will not be the same as before.

You try criminals in court. You try war combatants and war-crimes suspects in tribunals. You try ‘em on evidence you don’t have to present, without nobody from outside watching. You give ‘em counsel they don’t get to choose. You sentence ‘em to death if it’s so decided and you execute them with no appeals and plenty of alacrity.

Or do some kind folks think them Nuremberg trials was a travesty of justice?

Speaking of Europe, yes, I know our E.U. friends think we’re mean as an old dog with its tail stepped on. But they seem to have forgot why they enjoy liberties of their own sovereign choosing faster than you can say hypocrisy in French.

Go Toros!

But I personally recall the sentencing only a few short months ago of the 1993 terrorists - from 1993! - convicted in civilian court of trying to demolish the Twin Towers and kill thousands. They stood up and shouted profane anti-American, anti-Jewish, anti-capitalist threats and slogans at the tops of their lungs. This was after one of ‘em put a guard’s eye out. After all the horrors of the first Twin Towers attack, wasn’t that nice to see EIGHT YEARS LATER?!

Course, that ain’t all. The judge in that trial? He’s gotta live with 24-hour armed protection. The jurors? They feared for their lives and some of them moved out of the area. The witnesses whose testimony “successfully” convicted the bastards? I’ll put it this way: They ain’t out there throwing chairs on Jerry Springer.

And let us not forget the eight million dollars of taxpayers’ money that paid for all that “justice.”

So, I cordially ask the 10%: Are they really hankering to see that repeated time and time again for years to come?

If so, I’ll tell ‘em what. All them kids sitting in our un-heated, un-air conditioned, over-crowded classrooms under falling tiles reading textbooks that was old when I was skippin’ school? Tell them that’s how it’s gonna stay. The money’s going to ensure due-process and eight-year show trials for foreign terrorists who killed or tried to kill thousands of Americans.

There is, after all, only so much taxpayers’ money. ‘Specially after 9/11.

But then, this ain’t about money, it’s ‘bout rights, right? Well, I got a right-fine irony: The rights of Americans to protest our tribunal plan is being directly protected by the Americans getting killed in Afghanistan while they’re hunting down terrorists who killed Americans here at home so the terrorists can be tried in those same tribunals the protesters is protesting and which will make protesting even safer!

Whew! These days, I prefer Daisy Cutters to daisy chains. And hippos to hypocrisy.

And I say “directly protected” because, well, if you’re dead, you can’t much protest nothing, can you?

Time to wake up & smell the meadow muffins, kids: But for the grace of God – and the vicissitudes of killers - do we take each living breath.

It’s simple: Either you’re willing to leave the barn door open for another 9/11, or you’re not.

It be getting on time to pick.

Naiveté will – and has - got people killed. That Neville Chamberlin guy, he might elaborate if he’d stuck around.

While we in this here Administration is willing to abrogate (LCC, baby!) Amendments One, Four and Five for suspected foreign terrorists, we do realize we’ve got to throw protesters a bone so’s they can’t rightly call us a constitution-suspending, Moose-al-lini lovin’, terrorist-repressing Judge Roy Bean.

Don’t look a gift horse, honey-children: Number Two’s it!

If they don’t appreciate it, well, as we say down here in between huntin’ seasons: “Don’t like the bone? Don’t sit at the table.”

Sincerely,

Vladimir Sanchez, III
Steer-Roper to the President
Crawford, TX

Pretty goofy -- photoshopped versions of this diagram of bin Laden's mountain fortress. My personal favorties are the Where's Waldo and Family Circus versions on this page.

Not even wrapping yourself in the flag - literally - is enough to protect you these days!

www.latimes.com
www.dailynews.com

Sidhu said he was preparing to close his Liquor Mart store in the 16100 block of Nordhoff Street about 11 p.m. Monday when two men armed with 4-foot metal poles walked in and asked, "Are you bin Laden?"

Sidhu said he replied, "No, I'm a Sikh from Punjab, India," adding that in America, only Sikhs wear turbans.

They said, "We'll kill bin Laden today," then hit him about two dozen times with the poles, said Sidhu, 47, who lives in Valencia.

[NB: Police are reportedly on the lookout for two men stupid enough to think that bin Laden had escaped Tora Bora and was posing a liquor store owner in L.A.]

The Oxford English Dictionary is hunting for science fiction citations!

Woman Hunting 'Fargo' Movie Loot Dies

Chris writes:

Not to rehash the party line on 'Potter,' but I'll try to put my own spin on...

It's not like I expected the movie to look like Tim Burton or Quentin Tarantino, but if it weren't for the modern CGI, 'HPatSS' looks like it could have come out in 1985; it's as if the indie-film revolution of the '90s -- which forced even mainstream Hollywood product (even kiddie flicks) to exhibit a sense of style and a bit of wit -- never happened. I mean, imagine what a film like, say, 'Babe' would have looked like if it had come out in the mid-'80s. Or 'Spy Kids.' Or 'Chicken Run.' Or 'James and the Giant Peach.' They might still have been fine films (well, I dunno about 'Spy Kids') but they would have been too on-the-nose, too sub-Spielberg (like, say, 'Hook') to register as having any sense that kids want something more than gooey entertainment. Don't get me wrong, the Decade Of Irony did some awful things to children's entertainment -- 'Home Alone,' the remake of '101 Dalmatians' and the horror that was last year's live-action 'Grinch' leap to mind. But as I sat and watched a 'Harry Potter' that was so reverently faithful to the book I wanted to riot, I kept half-wishing that dubious auteur Chris Columbus would actually *try* to do what critics and we media elite had been afraid he'd do: put his sorry excuse for a style on the flick. At least then the movie would've HAD a style, rather than the airbrush-perfect, styleless adaptation we got. (By way of a confession, I should say that I didn't think Columbus's 'Mrs. Doubtfire' was that awful of a movie; it made me laugh, handled the divorce subplot quite sensitively, and is practically Oscar-worthy compared to the dreck that is his inexplicably revered 'Home Alone' series. Anyway, 'Doubtfire' and the first 'Gremlins' suggest to me that Columbus can produce something that's more than tolerable.)

Anyway, I had a fine time at 'Harry Potter' -- being there with my very enthusiastic Mom helped -- but I'd give the flick about two-and-a-half stars at best.

Not writing about Harry Potter at all, but this bit from an A.S. Byatt essay leapt out at me:

"In a way, an actor whose appearance is an almost perfect match for the imagined face is more uncanny and more disturbing than one who is no match and can be peeled away in the imagination. The closer the match, the harder it is to remember, to recreate in the mind, those aspects of the character's face and manners which don't coincide, or are deliberately written fluctuating and vague."

Hmmm. Maybe Emily will explain that for us later. Anyway, Harry Potter is one of the more interesting movies made from a book, because its primary audience (skewered here) doesn't want anything more than a straight retelling of the book. As we watched it, a girl behind us kept whispering explanations to her mother about what was going on and what was going to happen. The kids in the audience were rapt. As Debbie pointed out, the really good stuff from the books are the characters, and the movie spent much of its airtime on plot business. The movie, then, only has an impact if you know the characters so well that you can supply the missing details. (That's why we had such a good time predicting the casting -- trying to match the characters in our minds to the actors. Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart? No way -- Hugh Grant was born to play that role!) Colin said "you have to bring the books to the movie" (which is a shame, because they're quite heavy.)

The closest equivalent, I think, is a medieval passion play. The audience knows the stories and the characters by heart, through constant retelling. They don't want an original interpretation of Jesus -- that wouldn't be the point. They want to see the Book come to life.

But did we really have to lose Peeves?

Terry Gross, Fresh Air, dressed down.

Oh, and congrats to our own Colin Lingle for successfully completing The Imperative Case as part of National Novel Writing Month, in which participants complete a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. We can't wait to read it!

James Orenstein, former deputy attorney general, outlines in today's NYT how relying on military tribunals is wrong on practical grounds, by making it harder for us to cooperate internationally, and harder to go after low-level operatives in search of the bigger fish. William Safire continues to rail against "Soviet-style secret military trials" with "no presumption of innocence; no independent juries; no right to choice of counsel; no appeal to civilian judges for aliens suspected of being in touch with terrorists." And at Spinsanity (a must-link!) Brendan Nyhan shows how Bush's supporters are confusing military tribunals with court-marital trials, which have much stricter standards of evidence and procedure.

Okay, we'll keep that one.

Normally I don't write letters to politicans -- my brief stint on the Hill convinced me that they are mostly useless -- but today's news got me so mad I had to write this:

Dear Mr. President:

While I don't agree with the prevailing view that we need to abandon our civil rights in order to secure our safety, I would ask that your Administration be at least consistent. Specifically, Attorney General Ashcroft has indicated that checking whether a suspected terrorist has ever bought a gun would violate their right to bear arms. Why does the 2nd Amendment prevail in cases of terrorism, while the 4th and 5th Amendment do not? If we are going to arrest people without charges, try them without juries, and search homes in secret, why can't we consult our own government database to determine if they own handguns or assault weapons? I think the public will demand that this information be available to law enforcement, just as they demanded that you look beyond ideology on the airport security issue. Perhaps this will force a debate on which parts of the Constitution we can ignore -- a debate that was noticably absent before the passage of the USA-PATRIOT act. I am eager to learn why our court system (which successfully tried the 1993 WTC terrorists and terrorist McVeigh) is now insufficient to try suspected terrorists, yet we must uphold the 2nd Amendment rights of these same suspects. I await the reply of one of your beleagured staffers.

Sincerely,

Michael Everett-Lane

Conductor Boulez Arrested As A Terrorist

Police dragged composer-conductor Pierre Boulez, 76, from his bed in a top hotel in Basle, Switzerland and confiscated his passport last month while he was investigated on suspicion of links to terrorism, the BBC reported today (Wednesday). Boulez, the former conductor of the BBC Symphony Orchestra, the Cleveland Orchestra, and the New York Philharmonic, had reportedly been added to the government's list of terrorist suspects because of public comments he made in the 1960s that opera houses should be blown up. In the 1980s and early '90s, Boulez was the musical director for six lavish opera productions presented on German television.

[NB: No reports on whether his baton was seized as a potential weapon.]

Sandra sent this one in:

Gannett's Art Appreciation Lesson
By Lloyd Grove
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, December 5, 2001; Page C03

When Gannett Co. and USA Today moved into their palatial new $300 million corporate headquarters at Tysons Corner recently, some employees were strangely drawn to the "big blue ball." That's the Lita Albuquerque sculpture on display in the 11th-floor executive suite just outside the offices of Gannett Chairman and CEO Douglas H. McCorkindale and USA Today President and Publisher Tom Curley.

"It's hypnotic," said veteran USA Today sportswriter Karen Allen, 48, who last week paid a fateful visit to the sculpture, titled "Aperture," with two colleagues -- sports special projects editor Denise Tom, 49, anddatabase editor Cheryl Phillips, 39.

The women concede they were in a silly mood when they made their Tuesday afternoon pilgrimage to the specially commissioned installation, which cost Gannett nearly $100,000. "We were being stupid," Phillips told us yesterday. After noticing fingerprints and scrawls in what appeared to be blue dust covering the sphere, they touched the surface. Then Phillips and Allen playfully traced the words "Kilroy was here," as well as Denise Tom's name. Tom tried to blot out her name and nervously backed away. The "dust" was actually pigment that awaited a sealant. The whole thing was caught on videotape by security cameras.

Two days later, USA Today sports managing editor Monte Lorell summoned the women and demanded an explanation. The three also met with Gannett personnel and security officials, and apologized for whatever damage was inflicted and offered to pay for repairs. Phillips sent a remorseful letter to Curley.

But on Monday, the ax fell. In separate sessions, Lorell told all three they were fired effective immediately, apparently with no severance pay.

"There were three employees involved in an incident and an investigation was conducted and security tapes were reviewed," Curley told us yesterday, adding that criminal charges were considered. "People came to a conclusion and made recommendations to me, and after hearing them, the decision was made." Curley called the firings "irreversible."

The penalty was greeted with shock from the women's colleagues, some of whom threatened to boycott the company Christmas party. "Everyone is horrified," a USA Today staffer who asked not to be named told The Post's Howard Kurtz. "Everyone is thinking this is an insane, ego-related firing."

Sculptor Albuquerque was equally incredulous. "Oh my God! Are you kidding? This is crazy!" she told us yesterday. "I think it's a terrible thing, firing people from a lifetime job for what is essentially graffiti, and I'd be willing to write a letter to the president of the company." When told what the women scrawled, Albuquerque laughed, and added: "It's certainly reparable for not a lot of money."

Yesterday Phillips, a two-year employee of USA Today who last year was named one of the paper's "Enterprise All-Stars"; Allen, an original USA Today staffer with 25 years at Gannett; and Tom, a 26-year Gannett employee and the single mom of a 14-year-old boy, hired Washington lawyer Steve Hoffman.

While we're making corporations look ridiculous, this email exchange makes KPMG look pretty stupid, webwise.

Yet another reason to live Back East.

"Our houses and even our bed chambers are exposed to be ransacked, our boxes, chests, and trunks broke open, ravaged, and plundered. . . . Flagrant instances of the wanton exercise of this power have frequently happened. . . . By this we are cut off from that domestic security which renders the lives of the most unhappy in some measure agreeable."

Life under the Taliban? Nope, it's from the Committee of Correspondence, in 1761, talking about the British government's search and seizure power. Fortunately, we have the 4th Amendment to protect us. Right?

Not now, according to Nat Hentoff in this week's Village Voice. Hentoff outlines how the new USA PATRIOT act empowers our government to break and enter into your house, download files from your computer, take whatever they want, and leave without leaving a receipt or flowers or anything. And you don't have to be a suspected terrorist, either. (Oh, and as an added bonus, this new goverment power does not expire in four years, like many of the other parts of the PATRIOT law. Have a nice day.)

Meanwhile, in Europe, the EU is arguing over a proposed definition of terrorism as "offenses intentionally committed by an individual or a group against one or more countries, their institutions or people, with the aim of intimidating them and seriously altering or destroying the political, economic, or social structures of a country." According to a Brussels lawyer who's filed an appeal, "the definition is so broad that it includes all kinds of lawful protest. Trade union activity, anti-globalization protest, all of it can be criminalized under the legislation." Read all about it here.

Computer Stupidities

One of many amusing stories at this site:

I work for an ISP. One day a woman called, furious.

Customer: "I bought the Internet the other day, and it ain't workin'."
Tech Support: "Well, ma'am, can you explain what's happening?"
Customer: "Well, I called that number that you gave me, and it don't do nothing."
Tech Support: "What do you mean?"
Customer: "When I call it, all it does is squeal in my ear!"

Silence.

Tech Support: "Ma'am, do you have a computer?"
Customer: "Computer? Hell, I pay you twenty dollars a month! I don't need a computer!"

Dee Snider is Christina Aguilera.

Coincidence? I don't think so!

Yale in the News

A college student is accused of abusing his position at Yale University's rare books library to steal more than $1.5 million in one-of-a-kind historic signatures and other items - then selling them on the Internet.

Benjamin W. Johnson, 21, who faces 12 counts of first-degree larceny and 11 counts of criminal mischief, is charged with damaging unique items, including a letter sent by George Washington to French Gen. Rochambeau in 1780, a Yale University police affidavit shows. The letter from Washington was valued at $350,000, and two other letters in Washington's handwriting were valued at $110,000.

Those items, along with rare versions of some of the most famous novels in American history, were recovered last month when police raided Johnson's parents' home at 421 Ridge Road in Hamden. More than 50 items were found in Hamden and at Johnson's dormitory room at the University of Wisconsin in Madison.

And what are we doing hiring University of Wisconsin students for summer jobs at Beinecke anyway? No Yale students available for cushy summer jobs?

"O.J. Simpson -- Still Not a Jew."

Among the rules that the Taliban imposed on Afghanistan (as reported in the New York Times and Forbes), is the following dictum:

9. A person who wears his hair in the un- Islamic style — Beatle-y — will be arrested and his head will be shaved.

I think John and George would be pleased, don't you? (Not at the arrest-and-head-shaving part, but the Beatles-are-still-counter-cultural-icon part.)

In an attempt to widen the circulation of this site beyond the loyal few, I've joined "Blogsnob" -- a blog peer-to-peer referral service. You'll find it under "Blog du Jour" over on the left. Click and enjoy.

Now I'm trying to figure out what Mr. Brown, Dr. No, and Gilderoy Lockhart have in common.

* Driving down Route 87, passing a red Neon with this URL emblazoned on the back.

* On the back of a truck on 7th Avenue, a large machine is labelled "Putzmeister." Really.

* Walking down Garfield Place, I pass two black girls and a balding white guy in a suit Double Dutching. What's going on, I wonder, with various scenarios running through my head. Unfortunately, it turns out that it's for a photo shoot.

* Overheard outside Connecticut Muffin this morning, from the three old folks who take up residence on the bench outside:

She: "They treat those matadors like gods over there."

He: "You know, before ancient Greece, in the Minoan civilization, there were these guys who would grab the bull by the horns and somersault over them."

I decide that I definitely need coffee.

For World AIDS Day, Trip wrote a moving tribute to Yale professor John Boswell. Let's not forget that while war rages abroad, the epidemic still rages at home.

Captions Courageous

"The polls show that African-Americans, those most vocal in complaining about racial profiling, are saying it's OK as long as those being profiled aren't us,'' says Earl Ofari Hutchinson, president of the National
Alliance for Positive Action and author of The Disappearance of Black Leadership."

http://www.miami.com/rc/news/docs/1690151l.htm

http://www.miami.com/herald/content/news/local/dade/digdocs/061336.htm

Los Angeles Times: The Rarely Told Story of WWII

Debbie sent in this article, pointing out that our tactics in the "good war" weren't any less brutal than our tactics in the present war. Excerpt below.

Ashcroft Seeking to Free F.B.I. to Spy on Groups

Haven't we been here before?

And how long before we get lynched ? For the record, I do get called "Sand-Nigger" from time to time and I've put Prof. Kennedy on notice that I'm calling him if I get attacked !

http://www.nytimes.com/2001/12/01/books/01BOOK.html

"I think it is pretty fun," Mr. McDonald said, imagining customers asking a bookstore clerk, "Can I have one `Nigger' please? Where are your `Niggers'?" He added, "I am not afraid of the word `nigger.' "

"If we don't wear our Etro print suits, the terrorists win."

The Armpit of America?

Shar Peterson is a slim, attractive, intense woman with striking hair that appears to have been styled by a Van de Graaff generator. The executive director of the Battle Mountain Chamber of Commerce is always smiling, and she was smiling at this very moment, but I knew she wasn't glad to see me. After our first phone conversation, Shar had talked to some of the town mothers and fathers, who apparently had not shared her vision about the terrific publicity potential of this armpit thing. As Shar put it, "Some people are taking it as a negative."

Shar had apparently been strongly encouraged to dissuade me from my mission, to argue the case against the armpit. Once enthusiastic collaborators, we were, at the moment, potential antagonists.

I sat down. Laid my cards on the table.

"Shar," I said, "this is not a handsome town."

"We understand that," she said, her smile defiantly unbroken.

Shar was doing her level best to show me the highlights of Battle Mountain. It was not easy. It was, in fact, a grim little exercise in desperation salesmanship. Shar is an excellent guide and spin artist, but being executive director of the Battle Mountain Chamber of Commerce is a little like being regional sales manager for Firestone tires.

Heading out on Route 305, Shar pointed out several distant hills in the Shoshone mountain range.

"That looked better before the fires."

And:

"Usually, in different weather, that's a nice view of the valley."

And:

"The people aren't exactly xenophobic. You just have to earn their trust."

We saw several distant peaks with bald smears caused by mining. "They'll look normal afterwards. They'll just be a little less high."

Shar wanted to show me some of the nicer houses, but they were scattered around, so to get to them we had to pass homes that looked like the sort of place Snuffy Smith's wife, Loweezy, is forever brooming out.

Shar came here many years ago, when her husband got a good job in a local mine. He still has it, and so she is still here. She loves it, she said. She said it three times.

I said nothing. We passed one of the more expensive homes. It features a rather startling facade of faux boulders that sort of look like stone, the way cardboard sort of looks like oak.

"I have two choices," Shar said at last. "To make myself miserable or to learn to love where I am. Do you know what I mean?"

I did.

"Okay, maybe we're an armpit," Shar said. "If so, we're shaven, and clean, and sweet-smelling because out here in the desert, we're arid, extra dry. "

The woman is very good.